It’s amazing to me how much there is to learn even once you’re all grown up. I am constantly adding to my store of knowledge, and the life lessons are piling up all around me—thank goodness they don’t create clutter the way some other things do! Most of what I’ve learned lately has actually reduced my mental clutter, because I’m realizing I’ve created some of it myself. The moment I realized that, my head cleared. I wanted to share this clutter-reducing knowledge with you.
I frequent several different groups and activities that have their own small villages of people. It’s relatively easy for me to talk to most people as I am very outgoing. I only seem to have difficulty chatting with people I am interested in dating, but I’m working on that, too. In these groups, there are people who I’ve met who I felt did not like me at all. I am very intuitive, and these people are abrupt. They send out subtle signals that tell me to go away—they don’t want to talk. I am not too concerned with this, because I realize you can’t be friends with everyone.
In talking to others, and in getting to know these particular people better, I’ve recently realized that these people had been sending “go-away” signals because they are shy. In most cases, it had nothing at all to do with me. These people act the same way towards others, too. These shy people are not as comfortable as I am with social interaction, and so they limited it. This is a revelation to me. Since I’m not shy, I’d never considered that possibility when making assumptions about why they kept to themselves. It’s a great reminder that assumptions are not useful—people are unique and wonderful creatures and often cannot be understood at a glance. This is a joyful thing, because it’s so much fun getting to know each individual. I am constantly surprised by the brilliance of the universe and the people in it!
Your assignment, should you choose to accept it:
191. What assumptions have you been making in your social interactions with others? What else might explain the behaviors you’ve been experiencing? Try to come to each person you know with a fresh perspective, without putting in so much interpretation of subtle signals which may or may not be there. How did this make you feel?