I didn’t see this coming

Ecosystems are complex devils, and I’m finding that’s no less true with internal ones than external ones. The world of the mind can be rearranged by seemingly innocuous choices that one makes as she goes about her daily life. My brain is busy rearranging itself while I’m not watching, and I suddenly find that something has been moved while I wasn’t looking.

Lest you suspect that I’ve been drinking, I’d best explain myself. In the last few years, and especially this year, I’ve been aggressively pursuing joy. It’s going fairly well, and I find a lot to be joyful about. I share some of those things in this joyful little blog. This is great, because the more I look for joy, the easier it is to find. I know better what to look for, and what to steer away from.

One of my joys has always been mystery novels, and as a writer I figured that some day I would write one. Here’s where the surprise comes in—I’m not sure I want to do that anymore. I still want and need to write, but I’m not sure my heart wants to pursue the mystery novel. I still love to read most of them, but as I consider what to write during the upcoming National Novel Writing Month, I realize that I don’t want to spend the month contemplating why people would hate someone enough to commit murder. Last week I also stopped watching a film noir movie midway through. I usually love these, but I didn’t want to watch as the kind-hearted main character was used and abused by the grifters who were after him. It didn’t feel joyful.

I’m not sure what this means for my writing. I may find a way to write a joyful mystery, or I may steer myself towards other genres. I haven’t figured that out yet, but one of the things I’ve learned in the pursuit of happiness is that if I trust my path I’ll get where I should be going. In some ways it’s much more fun not knowing everything ahead of time. This way I’ll keep turning the pages of my own life in gleeful anticipation.

Your assignment, should you choose to accept it:

193. As you go about your day, take a moment to consider things with a fresh perspective. Are you making the best choices for who you are at this very moment in time?


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